Baseless Statue

The statue of George Washington outside my highschool was dismantled because he owned

They left the base.

Girls get to be statues when they grow into symbols not women.

Naming is cutting. Naming is violent.

Everyone remembers which hole has their lover’s name beside it at the 9/11 memorial. They stick flowers in the holes.


Life is like a box of chocolates. It’s what you get when someone doesn’t know you well enough
to know what you actually want.

When agoraphobics get to heaven it’s just their house again.

Blind people in Ukraine touch the Stalin statue’s face to learn who to hate.

If I looked into a laser wrong today, tonight I would memorize whose face is where at the
Hollywood Wax Museum.

I would also have sex with my eyelids closed one last time.

Why does my hypnotherapist have a laser pointer?

I am banned for life from the Hollywood Wax Museum.

I am banned for life from Heaven.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It will kill your dog.

The highway outside my highschool had a bomb threat. The package turned out to be just a bag
of candy. They destroyed it. The whole campus smelled of cotton candy.

They put spikes on the base of the statue they dismantled so homeless people can't sleep on it.

There is a playground in Russia made of all the decapitated Stalin statues.

Rousseau said intimacy is killing or being killed.

Tomorrow I am leaving a bunch of vigil candles around my lovers at the Hollywood Wax

When does CPR become necrophilia?

A coyote vest has spikes on it so coyotes can’t eat your dog.

Did they change the name of the game from Snakes and Ladders to Chutes and Ladders before or after the invention of gunpowder?

My fortune teller’s crystal ball said I will go blind tomorrow.

Can my urn be a snowglobe?

Holes are shapes. Someone makes all shapes: your eyes or God or culture or vacuums for those other things or a series of other holes.

The world may be hole sized but it’s only sphere deep.

Will they change the name back to Snakes now that guns are less of a danger, socially?

Are dogs colorblind? Or are they just racist if you teach them to be?

Tomorrow I am bringing a coyote in a vest that says “seeing” to the Hollywood Wax Museum.

The world is bound with wisdom teeth stitches.

It is upsetting to think about a hole shaped only by other holes.

A blindfolded palm reader touched the hands of an amputated Stalin statue and said he never
loved his father.

Rousseau said everyone tries to be a particular sort of someone, holistically. Then they cut it off
and put it on display to be ranked and stitched into the hierarchy of everyone else.

Maybe you’ll blow up. Maybe someone will give you flowers.

I want to go blind 16 minutes into being famous.

What’s on the backside of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs?

Can I social-climb up the pyramid scheme?

I am tying my wisdom teeth stitches into a knot from across the bar.

Hello Darkness, I feel like I've been seeing you around everywhere lately.

My dog is a coyote wearing a coyote vest on a leash.

Rousseau said the desire to be seen as better is crippling.

Having a vision for yourself is oppressive.

Oedipus complexes are for terrorists.

This hole was built only for you. This flower is made of glory.

Were the pyramids modeled after a particular woman’s breasts?

Coupe glasses were modeled after Marie Antionette.

More people died from Jamestown than Jonestown.

A coyote ate my glasses, then I put it on a leash.

They assassinated the wrong wax figure at the Hall of Presidents.

Can my ashes be mixed into Kool-Aid?

Dog Prozac works on humans.

Last time I felt alive I was playing laser tag and I was shot in the back and had to wait in the dark
for the game to be over.

You’re it!

If you have to see it, you never truly believed.

Skylar Hauge

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