GIRLFRIEND doesn’t look at the camera. GIRLFRIEND peers back over her shoulder like Gerhard Richter’s Betty. GIRLFRIEND appears only in a series of fixed images of which she is entirely unaware.

GIRLFRIEND is an e-girl. This stands for emo-girl but also means iGirl, internet girl. This means GIRLFRIEND doesn’t feel anything in the real world. GIRLFRIEND is a collection of pixels like a girl Tamagotchi. GIRLFRIEND blinks every five seconds with her whole internet body.

GIRLFRIEND is based. GIRLFRIEND is totally bionic.

But GIRLFRIEND is devoted. GIRLFRIEND never, ever gets bored of Him. When He holds GIRLFRIEND, the top of her head tucks right underneath His chin. GIRLFRIEND stands beside Him and slightly below. GIRLFRIEND is so proud of Him.

When He goes on tour, He brings GIRLFRIEND along. When He makes special, precious things, GIRLFRIEND is in them because she is His lucky charm.

GIRLFRIEND always gets in.

GIRLFRIEND is a girl genius. GIRLFRIEND leaps tall buildings in a single bound. GIRLFRIEND is a prize-winning pumpkin at the county fair. GIRLFRIEND is the prize you win at the county fair. GIRLFRIEND is a pageant girl, but real. GIRLFRIEND is a shooting star.

GIRLFRIEND is so good and that is why He loves her. He is a great man and His love is canonizing. His love is a reliquary shrine. His love is the pink plastic egg in which GIRLFRIEND blinks and doesn’t feel. When GIRLFRIEND is particularly good, He pats her on the head and she smiles a beatific baby-toothed low-res smile. When GIRLFRIEND cries, it is for a damn good reason. When GIRLFRIEND cries, she shitposts and shitposts and it is beautiful and good and true.

GIRLFRIEND has the prettiest name in the world. GIRLFRIEND has the prettiest name because GIRLFRIEND is what she is to Him. This means GIRLFRIEND is connected to something.

GIRLFRIEND never tries too hard. GIRLFRIEND is a gel transparency that everything passes through. GIRLFRIEND doesn’t consume because she can’t, not because she’s trying too hard. GIRLFRIEND is above ugly little things like that. GIRLFRIEND is so small she can fit into children’s clothes, or a Louis Vuitton Speedy, or the pocket of His jeans.

GIRLFRIEND likes all the right things. I like GIRLFRIEND but GIRLFRIEND doesn’t like me. I want to be friends with her, girl friends, but GIRLFRIEND can be mean. GIRLFRIEND has a lot of girl friends and GIRLFRIEND is only mean to girls who don’t matter. GIRLFRIEND keeps her life so clean.

GIRLFRIEND is contained. GIRLFRIEND keeps things inside that will never get out. GIRLFRIEND is an ecosystem, a loop, an encoded conch shell. GIRLFRIEND is GIRLFRIEND refracted in an infinity mirror. Just GIRLFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND all the way down.

GIRLFRIEND touches the walls of her pink plastic life and knows she is at home. GIRLFRIEND is home. GIRLFRIEND always knows what to say. GIRLFRIEND is never looking around for where she should go.

I get tired just standing up. But not GIRLFRIEND. GIRLFRIEND can blink and blink and run and run.

Matilda Berke is the Editorial Manager of the Adroit Journal.

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