VAX SKETCH
Al Jacobs

EVEN BEFORE SUCCESS, PUSSY WAS NUMBER ONE
Allie Rowbottom

WITIN THE EYE OF THE ENTITY
THE BLACK SHAWL
Blake Butler

SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT
Brian Alan Ellis

MIA’S BIRTHDAY
Brittany Ackerman

TOWNS NAMED MERIDIAN IN TWELVE U.S. STATES
Brooks Sterritt

SOMEWHERE NEW
Caspian Alavi-Flint

3 POEMS
Cavin Bryce Gonzalez

GRAVE DIGGER
Cory Bennet

THE ONLY PERSON YOU HURT IS YOURSELF
Claire Donato

REFRAME (WORK/HOME)
Crow Jonah Norlander

A VERY GOOPY RENDEZVOUS
David Fishkind

MY COUSIN TRIES (AND FAILES) TO ARREST ME
Derek Maine

USE-VALUE SONNET
Elijah Jackson

SILVER SCREENS
Emmalea Russo

BLOSSOM
Eric Renee

HOT AS HEAVEN
Gideon Jacobs

TRANSGRESSIONS
Giulia Bencivenga

LANA SONG “BARTENDER” PLAYING
Glenn Cox

NYC REPORT
Gracie Hadland

3 STORIES
Isabella Israel

GET BORN
Jake McCabe

A DESPERATE MAN
Jeanetta Rich

AIR CONDITIONING
Jiv Johnson

LOL
John Reed

ANIME NOVEL SERIES II
Joseph Cross

WULLAHWAHZOUT
Joseph Grantham

HUM OF VIRTUE
Katja Farin

EDEN’S BASTARDS
Kelby Losack

3 STORIES
Kidney Stone

BLOOD RUN
Leo Johnson

BORN IN BLOOD
Lindsay Lerman

GOOD BOY
Madeline Cash

CAREGIVER
Manuel Marrero

WELL
Marston Hefner

THE FISHERMAN AND THE FOX
Matthew Feasley

FARTHER, FATHER
Max Tullio

THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS FROM MEMORY
Megan Boyle

PHEROMONE DARK AGE
Michael Borth

PEGGY
Montana Thomas

ATIVAN WORKS
Myles Zavelo

FUG
Nathan Dragon

VARIANT
Nathaniel Duggan

LOST HILLS
Nick Plett

RETURN OF THE REAL
Phoebe Kaufman

SNAKES ON A PLANE
Quinn Roberts

OBJECTS
Rebecca Teich

GMYL
Sam Fishman

EXCERPT FROM KETCHUP
Sam Pink

EXEUNT
Sean Kilpatrick

DA VINCI!
Shanti Escalante-De Mattei

SPRING FEVER
She D

BASELESS STATUE
Skylar Hauge

2 Poems
Sophia Le Fraga

HOSPITAL
Tao Lin

PRAY HISTORY
Theadora Walsh

A D I D A S
Ted Dodson

BY THE WATER BY THE SEWAGE PLANT
Terrence Arjoon

DEATH OF A STRANGER
Tim Kreider

TOMATOES // THE FUCKING DRESSER
Zac Smith

REMORA
Zoe Dubno

ANTIBIOTICS WERE INJECTED INTO HIS CHEST ONE DAY TO OBLITERATE HIS PLEURAL SPACE SO THAT HIS LUNG WOULD ADHERE TO HIS CHEST WALL. HE COULDN’T BREATH THAT NIGHT. HIS TORSO AND NECK, THEN PARTS OF HIS LIMBS AND FACE, FELT BOTH NUMB AND SMOLDERING. HE DIDN’T SLEEP. AIR TRICKLED IN SOMEHOW.
Tao Lin

NOW MY COMPUTER WON’T TURN ON. I MEAN OR WHEN IT DOES ITJUST SHOWS THIS SCREEN OF GOLD LIGHT AND THERE IS A VOICE LIKE SOMEONE TELLING ME TO CUT MY ARMS OFF OR BASH MY HEAD INTO THE CONCRETE AND IT WON’T STOP TALKING UNTIL I TURN THE MACHINE OFF AGAIN AND HIDE IN THE CLOSET.
Blake Butler

CLAUDIA RANKINE TELLS JOKES. VANESSA PLACE TELLS JOKES. LOORIE MOORE TELLS JOKES. RACHEL CUSK TELLS JOKES. BEN LERNER TELLS JOKES.
Quinn Roberts

[ALEXA] BEGAN BY TELLING ME HOW SHE HAS ALWAYS HAS A THING FOR JESUS. I JOKED THAT THIS MADE ME A LITTLE JEALOUS OF THAT ANOREXIC-HOT NAZAREAN. SHE DIDN’T LAUGH. SHE SAID SHE LOVED JESUS BECAUSE HE WAS BOTH MAN AND GOD, FLESH AND SPIRIT. SHE SAID HE WAS A MIRACLE BECAUSE HE WAS SIMULTANEOUSLY BOTH HERE AND THERE. I KNEW WHAT SHE WAS GETTING AT OF COURSE, BUT WANTED TO MAKE HER SAY IT OUT LOUD, SO I ASKED HOW EXACTLY MR. CHRIST WAS ABLE TO HAVE ONE FOOT FIRMLY PLANTED IN EACH REALM? WAS HIS EXISTENCE SOME KIND OF INCREDIBLE ONTOLOGICAL STRADDLING ACT? SHE SAID, NO, JESUS HAD TWO FEET PLANTED IN EACH REALM. I JOKED THAT JESUS MUST HAVE HAD FOUR FEET THEN, THAT HE MUST HAVE NOT BEEN HUMAN AFTER ALL BUT A QUADRUPED, A CUTE DOG MAYBE, A GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPY MAYBE. FRUSTRATED, ALEXA SHOUTED THE ONLY SOLUTION, THE ONLY WAY WE COULD BE TOGETHER, WAS FOR ME TO DIE.
Gideon Jacobs

LIKE  WHEN I WAS A KID, MY MOM WOULD DO THIS THING IN WHICH I WOULD GET COMPLETELY NAKED AND SHE WOULD GET COMPLETELY NAKED. AND SHE DIDN’T MOLEST ME OR ANYTHING. I’M SORRY FOR UNLOADING THIS ON YOU. I CAN SEE YOU GOING PHEW, SHE DIDN’T MOLEST ME, RIGHT? WHAT SHE DID WAS SHE WOULD TAKE THE BLANKETS OFF THE BED AND PUT THIS SHEET OVER HER, AND I’D CRAWL IN THE SHEET, AND SHE’D BE ON HER BACK WITH HER LEGS, LIKE, PROPPED OVER HER, AND I’D HAVE TO CRAWL UNDER HER KNEE, AND WE’D PRETEND I WAS BEING, LIKE, BORN?
Jake McCabe

SO I HEARD HIM OUT, EVEN THOUGH I’M BRAINWASHED BECAUSE I GOT THE VAX. I FELT LIKE VAX DISCOURSE WITH AN ACTUAL DOCTOR WOULD SERVE ME IRL.
Al Jacobs

I LOVE MY COUSIN. AND FAMILY AND GOD AND AMERICA AND THE TROOPS AND FOX’S TRANSFORMER NFL GRAPHICS AND COLD WET BEER AND JET SKIS. MY FUCK I LOVE JET SKIS. I’VE NEVER RIDDEN ONE. I’M SCARED TO LOVE A THING. IT HURTS TO LOVE A THING, ALMOST REGARDLESS.
Derek Maine

SHE WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. CERTAINLY NOT BY THE MAILMAN, PANTING BEHIND POLYESTER, HOLDING HIS DELIVERY LOW, BEET RED AND BOTHERED. NOR WILL SHE BE FORGOTTEN BY HER TOILET, OR MIRRORS, OR LOVING PHONE. NOR HER TRUSTY SPATULA—COLD METAL, LONGING FOR A HOT FLIP EVERY NOW AND THEN. REST IN PEACE.
Montana Thomas

DOGS DYING IN THE DRY SUMMER, IN AUGUST I WENT BACK HOME AFTER MANUAL LABOR. SCANNED /POL/ FOR FUNNY DISCOURSE. ALL MY FRIENDS ON DISCORD LAUGHING. JOE BIDEN SUCKS. MONKEY WITH A GUN IN A REBEL ENCAMPMENT, AK BARREL SPINNING, PEOPLE DODGING BULLETS, LAUGH REACT THE GIF. THERE’S NO TALIBAN HERE. NOTHING TOO BIG ON THE MIND. GOD IS ABOVE AND JESUS IS LORD.
Jiv Johnson

THE SCREEN ON MY TELEVISION WENT BLACK. I WAS HAVING FUN. BUT THE SCREEN ON THE TELEVISION WENT BLACK AND THEN A SMALL MESSAGE APPEARED WHERE THE “VIDEO 1” SIGN SHOULD HAVE BEEN. AND IT WAS SO SMALL I COULD HARDLY READIT. I WAS ANGRY AGAIN AND I WALKED UP TO MY TELEVISION SET TO SEE THE ERROR MESSAGE. “WELCOME. DO YOU WANT TO PLAY?”
Marston Hefner

I’M PUSHING WOMEN OUT OF WINDOWS, STARVING MYSELF TO WRITE, TO EAT, DOING EVERYTHING FOR ART, GIVING YOU EVERYTHING. HEROES, VILLAINS, MARTYRS, INSURGENTS.
Manuel Marrero

WALKING THROUGH EAST VILLAGE A WOMAN ON THE PHONE SAYS “I DIDN’T KNOW HOW BAD IT WAS” AND NO ONE EVER SEEMS TO KNOW HOW BAD IT WAS
Glenn Cox

AT THIS POINT
SEXUALITY HAS BEEN REPACKAGED
INTO A SECRET GROUPING OF COMPLEX
ARITHMETIC GAMES.
Elijah Jackson

CONTAINER OF CHILDHOOD EPHEMERA, I FIND A PHOTOGRAPH OF MY HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIEND. WE MET WHEN I WAS 14 AND HE WAS 17. HE HAD BLACK HAIR, AND I WAS OVERWEIGHT. TO WOO ME, HE WROTE MY NAME IN THE SAND AT THE BEACH AND TOOK A PHOTOGRAPH OF IT, WHICH I HUNG IN A FRAME ABOVE MY BED. SOMETIMES WHILE I MASTURBATED, I FANTASIZED ABOUT US EATING FRENCH FRIES, THEN FUCKING ON THE SAND. I HAD NOT YET LOST MY VIRGINITY, BUT WE HELD HANDS IN MY HIGH SCHOOL’S BLEACHERS, AND CONTINUED HOLDING HANDS UNTIL HE CHEATED ON ME WITH SOMEONE CLOSER TO HIS AGE. PROBABLY SHE WAS A SLUT WHO HELPED HIM EJACULATE. WHICH, IN RETROSPECT, I WISHED I WAS.
Claire Donato

WHAT PARTS OF YOU DID I GLIMPSE AMONG THESE BOYS? LIKE LOOKING AT THE PROGENY OF A LONG AGO LOVER BUMPED INTO ON THE STREET // SOMETHING SUTBLE IN THE FACE SEARCHING FOR THE PART I CHERISH EXCEPTM MY ABSURD LIFE, THE LITTLE JOKE OF MY EXISTENCE--I AM DOING IT BACKWARDS.
Shanti Escalante-De Mattei

YES OFFICER, I’D LIKE TO REPORT A BITCH SLAPPING. HE HAD LUNGED FROM THE SEAT OF HIS CLUNKY FORD F350 AND SPUTTERED INSULTS LACED WITH SPITTLE AND VENOM AND DISDAIN FOR YOUNGER GENERATIONS AND SELF-HATRED AND HELPESSNESS AND ALL THE BOILING PARTS OF LIFE SPEWING INTO THE HOT AIR LIKE VOMIT AND THEN HE HAD REACHED OUT AND SLAPPED ME. SLAPPED ME LIKE THE BITCH THAT I WAS.
Nick Plett

IT USED TO BE A PET PEEVE WHEN SHE CALLED HERSELF A DOG MOM BUT NOW THAT I’M A HUMAN DAD I’M LIKE SURE EVERYTHING’S MY BABY
Crow Jonah Norlander

THE MAN SETS THE POLE DOWN AND WADES INTO THE WATER. WARM AS A BATH. HE CLOSES HIS EYES AND HOLDS HIS BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE LINE TOWARD THE LAKE’S BOTTOM, WHERE THE DEAD FOX HAS SUNK AGAIN. HE HOLDS THE FOX’S SMALL HEAD IN HIS HANDS. RUNS HIS THUMBS SOFTLY AGAINST THE CORNERS OF ITS EYES AND THEN LEANS FORWARD, WHISPERING INTO ONE OF ITS EARS.
Matthew Feasley

LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES. IT WILL KILL YOUR DOG.
Skylar Hauge

AS THE SEDATIVE WAS ADMINISTERED MY SISTER STARTED TO CRY. THEN MY MOM STARTED TO CRY. I COULDN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF THE DOG MURDERER’S TITS. ONLY THE MORE AROUSING THAT THEY WERE OBSCURED BY SO MUCH POLYESTER. I WONDERED WHAT SHE DID ON WEEKENDS. WHEN SHE WASN’T EUTHANIZING FAMILY PETS. SHE PROBABLY LAUGHED AND DRANK AND DANCED--READ IN A NOOK BY THE WINDOW OR SOMETHING. CASHEW WATCHED HER WITH HIS DROWSY, ALL-KNOWING STARE. HIS ANGEL OF DEATH. PERHAPS THE COMPANY HAD ORCHISTRATED IT THIS WAY. THEY WANTED THE LAST THINGS THE ANIMALS SAW TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
Madeline Cash

THIS ISN’T ABOUT METAPHORS; THIS IS ABOUT OBJECTS.
Rebecca Teich

I’M WATCHING A LACTATING CAMGIRL RIDE HER PARTNER. SHE’S MOANING, HE’S SWEARING—THEY’RE SWEATY AND HOT AND YOUNG. SOMETIMES SHE DOES THIS TRICK I LIKE WHERE SHE SPRAYS HER MILK AT THE CAMERA. I REACH BEHIND ME AT A PILE OF USED TISSUES AND FIND ONE WITH A LITTLE LIFE LEFT.
Sam Fishman

SOME PEOPLE REMEMBER GOD WHEN THEY ARE IN A HOSPITAL BED. THE NURSE TOLD ME THAT MORPHINE WOUL BE JUST LIKE THE FIRST TIME YOU TRIED MARIJUANA. SHE HAD HEARD FROM
PATIENTS. SHE HERSELF HAD NEVER DONE DRUGS AND NEVER WOULD DO DRUGS.
Theadora Walsh

Jeanetta Rich

SOME OF MY DISQUIET IS AT HOW LITTLE PERTURBATION A DEATH CAN CAUSE. A HUMAN BEING GONE, A UNIVERSE OBLITERATED, AND JUST ONE ELECTRONIC DEGREE OF SEPERATION AWAY ALL IT OCCATIONS IS “SAD AND WEIRD.”
Tim Kreider

WHY IS ALL THIS DUST EVERYWHERE? WHY IS THE ROOM FILLED WITH DUST? WHY HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS TURNED TO DUST? THEY USED TO BE RHODODENDRONS AND WHERE IS MY MOTHER? THERE IS A VASE AND IT IS FULL OF GARBAGE AND THE TOILET RUNS FULL. IT HAS OVERFLOWED AND THERE IS WATER IN MY MOUTH. THE LIGHTS TURN OFF AND I AM SURROUNDED BY SNAILS. HOW COME NO ONE ELSE IS HERE AND WHY AM I STILL COUGHING? WHY AM I BREATHING IN THIS WATER? WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE DUST?
Zoe Dubno

I HEAD FOR THE BATHROOM WITH A BAGGIE ALEX PASSES ME IN HIS PALM. WHEN HIS SKIN TOUCHES MINE, HE TAKES HOLD OF MY WHOLE HAND, LIFTS IT TO HIS LIPS, KISSES. I GIVE HIM A NASTY LOOK. WE BOTH KNOW HE’S NOT SWEET. “EVEN BEFORE SUCCESS, PUSSY WAS NUMBER ONE,” HE WILL ONE DAY TELL BILLBOARD MAGAZINE. Allie Rowbottom

THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON A MUSIC BOX SHAPED LIKE A VICTORIAN HOUSE. A TWINKLY MIDI-FILE OF “STEPHANIE SAYS” BY THE VELVET UNDERGROUND PLAYS, SEEMINGLY FROM THE HOUSE ITSELF. THE MUSIC BOX MORPHS INTO A REAL HOUSE ON A GREENWICH VILLAGE STREET, NEXT TO HOMES OF SIMILAR STATURE.
Megan Boyle

FRANK LOOKS UP AS THE BLUE SCREEN GIVES WAY TO A SOAP OPERA. AND THE VALUME IS INCREDIBLY HIGH AS THE THEME MUSIC SWEEPS THROUGH THE BAR. AND FOR A MOMENT, THERE IS THE DEEPEST BEAUTY IMAGINABLE. YES, YOU HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED BEAUTY UNTIL THE THEME SONG FROM A SOAP OPERA PLAYS AT TERRIBLE VOLUME IN AN EMPTY BAR. IN THE DUSY SUNLIGHT. SWEEPING AND COMPLETE.
Sam Pink

AND THE FACT IS I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BOY WHO HAS EVER GRACED THIS EARTH; I AM CHALAMET, I AM LEO, I AM PHOENIX BEFORE THE NEEDLE PRICK: I AM ALL OF THEM COMBINED, ROLLED INTO ONE,AND THEN SMOKED FOR THE MEDICINAL BENIFITS; AND ALL IS WELL ALL IS HEAVEN.
Eric Renee

WE CROSSED THE BRIDGE WHERE YOU SAID NOT TO LOOK OVER AND I SAID I WOULDN’T, BUT I DID, AND THERE WERE A DOZEN BODIES FLOATING ON THEIR BACKS AND I FOLLOWED THEIR LIFELESS GAZES TO THE SKY, WHERE THEY LAST SEARCHED FOR GOD IN THE CLOUDS, BUT SAW ONLY SMOKE.
Kelby Losack

ANTOINE LOVES ME. HE PIRATES ALL OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES. ONCE HE PIRATED FOX AND THE HOUND AND WE WATCHED IT AT DUSK WHEN THE CICADAS WERE HUMMING AND THE STREET LAMPS WERE BUZZING AND I WAS SOBBING, SOBBING BECAUSE I ALWAYS SOB WHEN THE FOX GETS LEFT IN THE FOREST AND SOBBING BECAUSE I WILL SOON LEAVE ANTOINE AND SOBBING BECAUSE I AM NOT SORRY ABOUT IT.
Isabella Israel

IN NEW YORK, IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IS GETTING ENGAGED BUT EVERYONE IS ALSO POLYAMOUROUS, INFORMALLY. GETTING ENGAGED AT 23 IS THE NEW JOINING THE PEACE CORPS OR DOING PORN. IT’S WHAT OUR GRANDPARENTS WERE DOING TWO GENERATIONS AGO. ARE WE REALLY ALWAYS JUST GOING IN CIRCLES?
Gracie Hadland

HOW OLD ARE YOU?
I HAD TO THINK HARD.
30.
THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER.
WHAT DID I SAY EARLIER?
18
Cory Bennet

THE FIRST TIME I DID MDMA AFTER HAVING A BABY, I WAS BROUGHT BACK TO THIS NIGHT. OR MAYBE IT WAS DAY. THE LABOR TIME. THE NO-TIME. THE ALL-TIME/ THE OUTSIDE-TIME. THE TWELVE PLUS HOURS, THE NOT-KNOWING, THE FEELING TOO INTENSELY.
Lindsay Lerman

THEY MEET
THEY BECOME CLOSE
THEY SPEND A NIGHT TOGETHER
ALEX AFTER GRADUATION TRIES TO MAKE IT MORE OR LASTING
THEY DON’T SPEAK AFTER THAT
CHRISTINE INVITES ALEX TO HER WEDDING (?)
ALEX GOES, BRINGING JACK
SHE GETS HER TIME ALONE WITH CHRISTINE
IT’S JUST AS UNRESOLVED AS IT EVER WAS
SHE BREAKS UP WITH JACK
AND DREAMS OF DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF LIFE
THOUGH THESE BEGIN TO FADE.
Joseph Cross

I AM LIVING WITH OTHER MEN IN LOS ANGELES NOW. THIS IS A STEP-DOWN FACILITY. THEY MAKE DECLARATIONS HERE. THEY SAY THINGS LIKE...ANOREXIC BITCHES ARE BETTER FUCKS THAN BULIMIC BITCHES. THEY DON’T SAY WOMEN.  THEY LIKE RUB-AND-TUGS. THEY’VE GAINED WEIGHT ON ZYPREXA AND SEROQUEL AND CLOZAPINE AND DEPAKOTE. THEY HAVE POOR TABLE MANNERS. THEY HAVE BLOWHARD DADS. SOME HAVE COMPLIANT MOTHERS. THAY ARE SDSU GRADUATES AND USC DROPOUTS. THEY HAVE ACCESS TO THE VERY BEST PORNOGRPAHY. THEY ARE PSYCHOTIC UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF MARIJUANA. THEY SUFFER FROM BODY DYSMORPHIA. THEY DISCUSS THE POSSIBILITIES OF FASTING. THEY LOVE COLLEGE BASKETBALL. THIS IS ALL PART OF MY TREATMENT. WHAT I WANTED, ASKED FOR, AND GOT. BECAUSE I NEEDED SOMETHING...
Myles Zavelo

FORTUITOUS AND FAT, GOUT AND GASTRO, LITTLE KIDS RUNNING WITH FLOWERS IN THEIR HANDS, FRACTAL PEARL, SCALLOPED, AND YOUR MIND RINGS BEFORE THE PHONE DOES. CERTAIN PORCHES OF ILL-REPUTE, THE DAWN IS ORANGE IN TWO CHAMBERS AND EVERY FIFTH TRUNK IS HEAVY WITH AUTOMATIC WEAPON. THE VIDEO OF CORD CUTTING, THE ACID OF THE ER DOCTOR, WALKING STRAIGHT INTO THE WATER LIKE A FALLEN SKY.
Michael Borth

SOME CHANNEL THAT ONLY PLAYS MUSIC VIDEOS IS ON THE TV. A GIRL SINGS A SONG ABOUT HOW MEN ARE EVIL AND SHE SITS ON A CHAIR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT. THE CHAIR CATCHES FIRE AND SO DOES SHE.
Brittany Ackerman

YOUR TINY HANDS WERE SO DELICATE THAT I FELT THE URGE TO SMASH ALL OF THEIR BONES WHENEVER I HELD THEM. I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THE OPPORTUNITY WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE. THEY ARE MY FAVORITE THING, YOUR HANDS. IF I TOOK THEM WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE THEN I COULD HAVE HAD THEM FOREVER.
Cavin Bryce Gonzalez

...AND THAT HE WANTS HIS PARTIES TO BE LIKE THAT AND NOT LIKE THIS AND ABOUT HOW THE MOVIE WAS DIRECTED BY THIS GUY WHO ALSO MADE A MOVIE ABOUT CARLOS THE JACKAL WHO WAS “LIKE, THE SEXIEST TERRORIST OF ALL TIME” WHICH ANNIE THINKS IS A HARD CATEGORY TO QUALIFY AND THEN SHE THINKS ABOUT THE SON OF THE BIN LADEN FAMILY SELLING HIS MANSION IN LA THAT LOOKED LIKE THE BEVERLY HILTON HOTEL WHERE THEY HOST THE GOLDEN GLOBES AND THEN SHE DANCES A LITTLE BUT IN A KIND OF FUNNY WAY THAT’S JAGGED AND STILTED AND SHE BECOMES SELF CONSCIOUS THAT SHE’S DANCING LIKE HER FATHER. AND NOW SHE’S THINKING ABOUT HER FATHER.
Max Tullio

I TURN AND MY ASSHOLE TURNS WITH ME. AWAY IS MORE CONCEPTUAL THAN BEING HERE WITH YOU.
Ted Dodson

ALEXANDER RETIRED SUPINE ON HIS FEATHERY ROOST, AND I HELD UP ONE OF THE PAPER LANTERNS TO HIS TABLET, ENUMERATING THE MANY IDIOSYNCRASIES AND UNPARALLELED INNOVATIONS OF THE FRESHLY PATENTED WEAPONS TECH. WHEN I LOOKED UP, MY WHOADIE HAD ENTERED THOSE SEIZING THROES DISTINCTIVE TO THE LAND OF NOD. CAREFUL NOT TO MAKE PHYSICAL CONTACT, I COVERED HIS FACE WITH THE GLOSSY BEAM OF THE GESTALT.
David Fishkind

THIS MORNING HE DROVE TO ONE OF THE STRIP MALLS AND BOUGHT A RADIO WITH A PLUG FOR AN OUTLET. IT CAN ALSO TAKE BATTERIES IF AN OUTLET ISN’T ACCESSIBLE. HE THINKS HE SHOULD’VE GOTTEN BATTERIES AND HE MIGHT BRING IT OUTSIDE TO THE FAR END OF THE YARD AND LISTEN TO MUSIC AND BURN SOMETHING.
Nathan Dragon

NOW I HAVE TO BURN
EVERYTHING I’VE ACHIEVED,
AND YOU MISTAKE MY COLLAPSE
FOR JUST ANOTHER BEACHSIDE CONDO. Nathaniel Duggan

IT WAS A SAD AFTERNOON BUT EVERYONE TOOK A PICTURE.
Sophia Le Fraga

THE COP RUBBED THE MAN AGAINST THE TOMATO GUTS. THE COP PUT THE MAN IN THE BACK OF HIS CRUISER. THE COP CLOSED THE DOOR OF HIS CRUISER. THE COP DROVE AWAY WHILE FIRING HIS GUN OUT THE WINDOW. AN HOUR LATER A TOW TRUCK CAME FOR THE CAR AND I WENT HOME. I ATE TOMATOES. EVERY TIME I BIT INTO A TOMATO, IT KILLED EVERY COP IN AMERICA. I KILLED EVERY COP IN AMERICA SOMETHING LIKE TWENTY OR TWENTY-FIVE TIMES.
Zac Smith

THINK ABOUT YOUR ODDS OF GETTING MURDERED IN THE FIRST PLACE. OK. NOW DIVIDE THAT BY 100. PRETTY GOOD, HUH?
Brooks Sterritt

MY FRIEND WAS RECENTLY IN AN IHOP TRYING TO RECEIVE A FREE BIRTHDAY BREAKFAST AND SHE STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH A WOMAN. THE WOMAN SAID SOMETHING LIKE, “DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ, HAIL TRUMP!” MY FRIEND SAID, “I’M A COMMUNIST.” THE LADY SAID, “SO YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN FREEDOM?” WHAT A GOOD QUESTION.
She D

NO ONE IN HEAVEN HAS SURVIVED. IF THEY DESERVED TO, THEY’D STILL BE DOWN HERE. AS AM I. OR AT LEAST I’VE WORN ON LONG ENOUGH IT’S NOT UNQUESTIONABLE TO IMAGINE I MIGHT CONTINUE GROWING OLD FOR LONG ENOUGH THAT I MIGHT FINALLY COME BACK AT THE BEGINNING. AND I’D STILL DO IT ALL OVER JUST THE SAME.
Blake Butler

I THINK ABOUT DRAWING A SHITTY ’80S WRESTLING MUSTACHE ON LO’S FACE WITH SHARPIE. “DON’T WORRY,” I’D SAY, “IT’S NOT AS GROSS AS IT LOOKS ON TV.” THEN I CONSIDER PUMMELING HER WITH A PILLOW, PRE­TENDING IT’S THE BAG WITH JAKE’S PYTHON (DAMIEN) IN IT, BUT I THINK BETTER OF IT, AND TRY FALLING ASLEEP ALSO, EYES ALL-THE-WAY CLOSED, HOPING I DON’T HAVE AN ACTUAL HEART ATTACK.
Brian Alan Ellis

FOR YOU LOVE WAS MILK.
Terrence Arjoon

I’M PLUGGING MY EARS. STILL FORGETTING TO REMEMBER. TAUGHT TO LET MY KNUCKLES BLEED. NOW LET THE WAX DRIP. AS I TIGHTEN THE ROPE.
Leo Johnson